God thought of Sex First. Celebrate! And tell the truth.

God thought of Sex First. Celebrate! And tell the truth.

You know what?  Speed kills.  That’s right isn’t it?

Smoking kills.  Yes?  We get the message, right?

Unsafe boating practices and lack of equipment and flares and EPIRBS kill.

If you drink and drive you are (b—–) stupid. 

Illicit drugs kill.

More than the standard number of alcoholic drinks is bad for your health.

We’re even now telling the truth with marijuana – pot pickles your brain; can cause depression and may precipitate schizophrenia

Indiscriminate use of motor vehicles can harm and kill.  Don’t drive when tired.  Be responsible!

These and many other messages assail us and seek to teach us responsible behaviour in many aspects of life but not with sex!

Why can’t we tell the truth regarding sex like we do with other aspects concerning public health?  Let’s start teaching in and through our churches responsible Christian behaviour.

Let’s tell the truth!

• God thought of sex first.
• Sex is so much more than just a recreational activity.  If it feels good, do it is a recipe for personal and society disaster.
• Indiscriminate sex has consequences for the whole of the rest of your life.
• Sex involves the whole personality and emotions and creates a deep bond between two people – the Bible talks about one flesh.
• Indiscriminate sex trivializes and destroys this deeper relationship – an intangible spiritual connection is contaminated and lost.
• Sex outside of God’s plan always damages resulting in anger, jealousy, guilt, hate, hurt, physical harm, medical problems, disease, despair, and problems with subsequent sexual adjustment.
• It is not ‘irresponsible, backward and narrow-minded’, as Dr Geoff Gallop said, to disapprove of free condoms to school leavers.
• Let’s tell young people the truth just like we do with drink driving, smoking and to a lesser degree drugs: indiscriminate, uncommitted sex has a cost both now and in the long term – for you, and for others. It is not free!
• You can have fun at leavers without alcohol, drugs and sex.
• If you drink and drive you are (b—–) stupid.  If you get drunk or take drugs at leavers then you are (b—–) stupid.  If you have indiscriminate sex during leavers week then you are (b—–) stupid.
• Let’s tell the truth about ‘safe-sex’.  ‘Safe-sex’ in the context of casual or indiscriminate sex is an illusion – it can only ever be ‘safer-sex.’
• Condoms offer only partial protection.
• Instead of the message to travellers ‘when you go overseas, take condoms’ let’s tell the truth ‘if you have casual sex when you are overseas, then you are a (b—–) idiot.’
• Let’s tell the truth about sex education.  Sex education to prevent STDs and pregnancy have been shown in many places not to work, but programs encouraging responsibility in relationships do.
• If we were only concerned about STDs and if we must have condom education campaigns, then the message should be ‘Indiscriminate sex is dangerous. Condoms only offer partial protection.’ 
• Let’s tell the truth about pornography.  Exposure to pornography also costs something; it trivialises the magic and wonder of sex and it entraps, it is addictive.  Pornography never, ever helps sexual adjustment.
• Let’s tell the truth about marriage breakup.  Separation always costs; it is always painful. Children suffer – they need a mother and a father.
• Recovery of innocence and the magic of sex is possible with time and commitment.
• Let’s tell the truth about prostitution.  Legalizing prostitution does not work!  You finish up with illegal alongside the legal and you finish up with brothels in residential areas next to kindergartens and prostitution flourishes.  Legal brothels in Victoria and NSW have failed to curb health problems, drugs, violence, child prostitution and organized crime.
• Prostitution demeans women.  It results in bitterness and marriage break-up.  It destroys families.  Like pornography it is strongly addictive.
• Let’s tell the truth about trial marriage.  It is not necessary.  Sexual adjustment requires the protection of commitment and nurture and surety of marriage.
• Let’s tell the truth about reaping what we sow.  Feeding our minds with erotic literature or pornographic images or even the trash of reality TV shows or sitcoms does nothing to help us come close to God or our spouses or honour boyfriends or girlfriends (not that I have any of the latter).  It is not uplifting and it is addictive.  Giving in to temptation in our own minds allows a foothold and each step is harder to pull back from.  Nevertheless it is possible with God.
• Let’s tell the truth about temptation.  We should avoid it when we can! The alcoholic should not take home a bottle of wine just in case there is a reason to celebrate. It means that the person with the temptation to pornography does not go into the newsagent unless he really has to and then sticks to the side of the newsagent where the stationery or the birthday cards are, and not the magazines.  With internet pornography very firm boundaries and protective measures – with accountability – must be put in place.
• It means that when the situation is starting to get tempting we must flee from that temptation.  When logic and spiritual reasoning starts to become confused we must sometimes do a Joseph and literally run.
• People talk about finding their ‘soul-mate’.  It may well be that there are times in a person’s life that you come across someone who is just so onside with everything you understand and value – when it seems that there is a emotional and spiritual connection that cannot be resisted.  Such can occur at camps or conventions or music festivals or shared emotional pathways in a counseling course or even shared experiences in times of danger.  Let’s tell the truth – any crossing of the sexual boundary will destroy the magic of the connection!  If you’re married then redefine the boundaries at a tighter level.  If the two of you are single then give time for God to make His will known.  Do not be precipitous (remember, don’t speed).  Recognise the temptation as being a lie of Satan.
• Let’s tell the truth about the magic of sex.  Sex is so much more than just a recreational activity – when experienced in the context of falling in love it is truly mystical and wonderful, and when experienced with commitment in marriage it is absolutely, definitely worth waiting for.
• Let’s tell the truth – God did a very, very good job in creating male and female.  We believe that society actually does celebrate the innate differences between male and female sexuality in spite of those who deny that there are differences.  The intrinsic beauty and appreciation of the female face and form is recognised and extolled in art and literature in all societies by both men and women alike.  Likewise the strength of the male form is extolled in art and literature.  No amount of social engineering will ever change this, nor do we believe that the mainstream of Australian society wishes for such change.  We believe these gender differences to be God-given and to form the basis for sexual expression within marriage.
• Sexual expression is so much more than just sex.  The magic of sex is apparent from an early age when small boys look at girls with a fairy princess type of worship.  For those who remember this was wondered at by the mother of the boy in the movie My Mother’s Castle when she, noting his willingness to do anything with a sense of worship and awe for the fairy princess in front of him, commented if he will do that now for a girl, what will he do when she grows up?
• Let’s tell the truth – it is a shame and a tragedy – a media and Hollywood perversion – to lose this magic by going straight from a look to full sex, and for young people to think this is the norm and that they are even expected to do this.  What a tragedy to awaken physical sex before love and what a tragedy to have it forcibly taken.
• We should have a healthy fear of spoiling the gift – it should not be sacrificed or profaned in any way for others or ourselves.  But the fact is if we move away from the boundaries that God has set, then the gift loses some of its magical qualities that may then be difficult to recover.  Nevertheless it is possible with God.

Let’s tell the truth: God has set the parameters in which to find joy and happiness and He did a very, very good job in creating male and female.

Lachlan Dunjey MBBS  FRACGP  DObstRCOG  February 2006.

Nurturing Sexual Integrity in the 21^st Century.  Christian Reformed Church, Gosnells, WA.